Anyone who wants to take a guess whose tuition student failed to show up again and without notice today? :D :D :D

That's it. No more free tuition, or tuition at all, for that matter. And I don't care when he fails his classes from now on. So be it, then. Because I bloody fail my class now too, and just because he for weeks doesn't manage to show up.
Fine. That's one paper less to write and spares me some stressy work on it. Sure, it also requires me to take the damn class all over again, which obviously is the funnest thing I can imagine in life, the knowledge of having taken one semester worth of the most boring class ever in vain, and the knowledge I'll have to take it again, but let's just see the bright side for now! >:O

Also, it's raining and raining and raining and I switched the heating on and still am cold. It's supposed to be summer, hell!

Funny things you notice randomly.
When reading texts - newspapers, excerps from books, emails confiming that my order has just been dispatched (this was indeed the key-factor to this random realisation) I (like everybody else, I suppose) have a certain voice in my head reading the text in question out to me. What I realised, what I think is odd, is the fact that german texts sound all different to me then english ones in an odd way. The same automatic email from amazon confirming my order or the fact my items were just dispatched, in german ring in a quite odd in my head ever since, which I never quite liked. It's hard to describe. Just like the voice of the person you're not all too fond of, without actually disliking them. A bit pathetic, a bit whiney, a but strange. And now an email from amazon.uk, with exactly the same content in english, it sounded like a forward, plain and simple and nice voice to me, Totally different from the german version.
I always have my issues with the german language. I think german is difficult in written form to use without making it sound either pathetic or too harsh. When writing, it's always an act of balance, using harsh with pathetic and merging it into something nice and subtle, where the words vanish into the background and the meaning and impressions are the things that stay flowing. The same thing sounds so much easier in english, to me.
Lots of german books have a horryfying style, where I just have to go "ugh" and shut my eyes. And upon encountering a german book that for once is written (or translated into german) really nicely, the difference really shows.
But with english, I never once found a book of which I hated the style passionately. I wonder why.

What sane person gets a bloody cold of hell in July? I probably sound like I had the pig's flu or whatever they call it internationally.
Two weeks, one day to go! Microteaching on listening comprehension went quite nice, and all thanks and credits go to irrsinn for helping me. :3 There will be one additional microteaching I decided to do the last monday in the semester, not because I'm developing especially masochistic tendencies, but because that saves me from writing yet another boring, theoretical essay on some boring, theoretical theory. So I'd rather get done with it and present some more. I realise, the longer I'm studying, the less nervous I am, anyway. It didn't feel nervous at all today, come to think of it. Here I go, already in the process of becoming a teacher, it seems!

Lots of reading about WWI again, at the moment. It's a topic I fancy ever since these two characters popped into my mind years back on the train to berlin, demanding to have a story placed in WWI. I didn't write more than maybe four lines about them until now, but I recently fell in endless awe and love with Pat Barker's Regeneration trilogy, and it all came back to me. Found Ernst Jünger's Storm of Steel in the university's library today - a nifty version from '37 no less (and by then already the 20th edition), still printed in Fraktur. There are lots of interesting books on the topic as well, and I'm going to try to get my hands on a certain one by a french soldier, because I think the french side is the only one I know nothing authentic much from. And I couldn't find russian books from WW1 at all. But then again, I didn't really research yet.

I do get a feeling my lj entries randomly jump from topic to topic and nobody can follow but me!

And just now, I got a textmessage from him, sounding so pityfully sorry - and without the slightest bad excuse, just honestly stating he forgot about it once more - I couldn't possibly go on being angry. I said I should just tell my "teacher" that it wasn't my fault but my stupid student's fault, and he shouldn't blame me - and that was so naive, and so cute.
Now we agreed he'll come over on friday, and I'll write my paper a bit quicker, and then I suppose it'll work out. :3

To hell with my tuition-student, and he'd better not think I'll help him out anymore from this point on.

For half a year now I hurry home each tuesday after university to arrive right in time, squeeze an hour of tuition in between my tight schedule for free and hurry on again to Kendo. Just that every other week he doesn't show up without the smallest notice he can't make it today, just staying away. And as if this wasn't nasty enough already, he knows I need him for a bloody casestudy I have to write and already missed lassed week, and guess who didn't show up today? No textmessage, no call?
He can bloody go on failing his English classes alone from now on. I'm not going to waste a single minute of my life on him anymore.

Of course now, I'm in real damn trouble about that casestudy, and if I'm not very lucky (which I'm not - all student's of the age I know are on vacation at the moment, and well until after the deadline) I'll just fail that class by missing casestudy. One semester of studying in vain. Great.

Waiting for holidays. The last few weeks of the semester seem to strech out endlessly in front of me, and I can't think of how they are possibly going to pass.
I feel so exhausted. I don't think my semester was the slightest bit worse than other people's semester, and I'm quite aware of the fact I once more didn't study as hard as I could or should. And yet there's the feeling of crawling along, waiting for the semester to be over, with no idea how to manage all exams and essays and papers and casestudies I'll have to do this time, and a left-over presentation on wednesday that needs more transcribtion, too. To be done tonight.

Feels like someone tries to steal summer. Finally and since a week it's hot, the skies blue, flipflops, skirts and sunglasses everywhere. Everybody complains about the heat in busses and trains, but still, it's summer, and it's so lovely to walk about, having icecream or iced beverages. Schoolholidays started, and oh how I envy schoolstudents now (although my holidays are quite longer than theirs). I keep sitting in too hot, too small, too full rooms with hardly any air left, wondering how to pass the week. I hope summer will be still there, when we get holidays...

I've got this Steve Irvin Interview I need to transcribe for a teaching presentation I have next week, but the Australian at times leaves me confused, or at others I'm just not completly sure whether the word I heard was really was he said. Eternal gratefulness and cookies to those who would be willing to help me with this. My version of the text can be found below, blanks, dots and odd ways of pointing out things I'm not sure about everywhere :D
This is the interview in question, 1:31 minutes.

"I think the (proudest?) thing that I’veachieved professionally is global wildlife conservation. The (proudest) thing that I’ve achieved personally is my children. Is there anything in this world thatwould wanna **** me give a *** what I’m doing now. Yes. Yes thereis. When my children can take the football that I call wildlifeconservation and run/round? It up. When they’re ready to run uptheir own mission I will gladly step aside. And I guarantee you***(will? Would?) be the proudes *** in the *** And my job will bedone like my mom and my dad. (...) Then, and only then will I know that Ihave achieved my ultimate goal: To be (hold a stand?) *** and letthem run on/up my mission. Cause that’s what I did for my mom anddad, I’m really proud to *** tears *** and I’m holding them backand trying so hard to hold them back, and I’m just doing what theywanted me to do *** wildlife warrior I am that (?), and I *** able tostand aside (and?) to varying degrees, and I’m out to run that ballup *** you know what, the opposition is hard and it keeps coming,but I ain’t stopping until my kids can run it up for me, and thenI’ll stand aside."

It's the last five weeks of the semester, and I've passed the half-semester-crisis, the urge to skip the rest of the semester (and fail all classes) and the fights with myself every morning whether to get up or not, and reached the stage of zombie, in which I just go to university, sit there, and at the end leave again. Way to go! Now I just have to start studying for all those nasty exams coming up, and not to forget the last presentation due, if not a second one, and, and, and...
I can't wait for the semester to be over. I hate it with a passion, although some classes are really interesting. But mainly, they are all exhausting, because I thought it was a good idea to take all these teaching-classes at once although they build up on oneanother. Not a good idea indeed.
Last exam on my birthday, at 8am no less, and a nasty one. I can already see myself in the resits.

Finished Pat Barker's "Regenaration" the other day, and ordered "The eye in the door" and "Ghost Road" today. They are hard to describe, and although the set up in a war hospital of WWI suggest nothing much happens there - and there's remarkably few action indeed - it's probably one of the best books I ever read. I especially like the fact that the main characters actually existed, certain things were said for real, and they mix up with fictional characters just as realistic as themselves.

Now, off to class. Zombie!

My left foot protests, but the kendo-seminar last weekend in Braunschweig was awesome. 104 people, among them two 8th Dans from Japan (Sato and Igarashi), members of the Italian and German national teams, some of the highest kendokas in Germany and guests from England, Swiss, and, as Wolfgang Demski stated upon opening the seminar, causing frentic laughter, even one Bavarian.
The seminar was awesome starting with the warmup. The tokyo metropolitan policerun answered by 100+ voices causes goosebumps, and the atmosphere carries everyone with it, so that running round on round suddenly seems to be easier than usually.

Five sessions of 3 hour training during the three days, nihon kata, kendo kata (which I'd never done before), lots of technique practise, jigeiko for those with armour and kakarigeiko for those without (like me).
The first day seemed a little disappointing without bogu/armour, as we were treated as absolute beginners first - on the other hand I had to realise later, that this seemingly boring practising of the basics really helped me, so I shouldn't complain and rather practise basics more often.

Kakarigeiko with the high Dans was awesome. I didn't think they'd bother with us beginners, but they did! Igarashi (I probably was staring blankly in awe when I realised it was me he waved towards him) corrected a mistake I typically did and have me a tip that really worked out, and when I lined up for karakigeiko with Demski (one of the highest German Kendokas) he looked at me for a moment: "Didn't you sign up for the 6th kyu exam?" I did, and he practised a few things with me - as I realised a day later, exactly the things he asked of us in the exam. ♥

I think I learned quite a lot on the seminar, made lots of new friends, got my 6th kyu on which I'm manically proud although it's the most basic test, really, got some nasty blister on my left foot, have a sore ankle - and am absolutely happy with kendo. :3


( Photo )

I did something bad, and I don't even have an excuse - nor regrets.
Yesterday I went to the petshop to buy some new hamsterfood. To get to the shelves, I had to pass the cages with the rodents. Upon crossing a certain one, a pair of eyes gazed at me. A lemming, a lemming! But, although I've thought about lemmings before, I certainly wouldn't want to buy one now, with three hamsters already! So I went on to fetch what I needed.
On my way back it were already two pairs of eyes.
Did something on me give away that I had a spare cage? Did something give away that I had read up on lemmings quite a while ago, and that through keeping hamsters, I have huts and toys and whatnot in lemmingsize? Either way, I assure you they manipulated me, those two lemmings, and the friendly petshoplady telling me randomly that lemmings don't sell well, they won't get any new ones, and these two had been in quite a while and would be given away cheaper if only she knew they came into good care...

End of the story: I left with two lemmings in a box.

Now I'm proud owner of two russian dwarfshamsters, one syrian teddyhamster, and two lemmings - James and Jeremy!

Really, I must be mad. And I don't even regret it.

It's here, it's here! I'm in university, I'm online (though the university wlan likes to randomly shut down, it seems), I'm on my netbook, and I love it. Writing classnotes here is quite convenient, and makes homework a hell of a lot easier.

That is, the netbook is awesome since I got rid of the OS it came with - Linus Linpux, some sort of bargain-taiwanese-half-linux, that actually crashes your wifi with the first automatic update and your system with the second. I kid you not.
After a day of despair I read up on how to create a bootable SD card, put Ubuntu on it, and feared the worst. Card not recognized, card formatted wrong, installation corrupt... - actually, Ubuntu installed within less than 20minutes, never even had second thoughts about any hardware, and started working happily from that moment on.
I'm in love.

This very sweet, very nifty, very brown, very 8,9", very netbookish and very awesome Acer Aspire One a150l will be arriving any day now. And I cannot wait. ♥
It will mainly be a university computer for me to type my notes so I can use them in portfolios without having to type the handwritten ones down, to finish homework during breaks and send it in already, to be able to take it with me without having to carry a 3+ kg huge notebook - well, and also to have something to do in boring moments, hehe. It was down 100€ by some special spring discount (of which I didn't notice it was limited until I checked shortly after my order was confirmed and realised it was sold out by now) 220€ were about the amount I had left from the last months, and I think that's a nifty way to spend it now :3

Else, I'm so exhausted these days. I get up, go to university, hurry home, and either hurry right back to Kendo or squeeze in a lesson of private tuition which I'm giving for free for a 6-grade boy, or do some cleaning or some other household thing. Upon returning from Kendo I have some late supper, am online an our or something, possibly even to do university things, and fall asleep. Even in the days without Kendo I seem to have hardly any time, and although I do today, I still feel like I'm under high voltage literally. I finally know how this saying feels.
Maybe it'll get better now though. Last weekend was lost to an excursion to Berlin with a history-seminar, which was nice, but very stressy, and during the last three weeks I prepared 4 presentations for university. But three of them are done now, which gives me a break finally, I hope.

Even managed to rearrange Herrn Ferdinand's [Ha. I cannot seem to be able to use "Herr Ferdinand" in this grammar construction, although in english it'd be correct - but that 'n' from the german form in this case just snuck in and will always do!] cage. After more than half a year, he's still always scared, always panicky, always carefully looking out for danger. It's so sad to see what that girl back then did to him. How can one little hamster be so scared by humans - and still be so good-natured? No matter what happens, he always jumps away, and never tries to attack. Poor little guy. I never know how to make him happier :/

Back from second training. I got the feeling everything that worked last time didn't today, but new things did. At one point I suppose everything will be back. I just hope it won't be all too long. I'm so relaxed about things where I'm new to, but with things I think I should know, I get too annoyed with myself. And I can already feel the sorenesss creeping up my muscles. I wish I was back in training long enough already not to have sore muscles!
And there's one guy who seems to think Kendo is about destroying the others. For heaven's sake, when he hits shinais so hard they nearly break, something is wrong. And something is wring if he gets bitchy upon being reminded of that by about everybody. And something is wrong if upon partnerexercises including lots of movement across the gym he stands still and refuses to move. MOVE dammit, or next time I'll just run into you. Not like I'd survive, because he wear armour and I don't, but all the same! Hell.

Tomorrow after university, training again. I wonder whether or not I can move! O_o

Else, university is gonna be a rather stressy semester, I suppose. Lots of teaching-related classes, which are interesting, but lots and lots to do. And some excursion to Berlin next weekend. I so am not motivated x_x

On a sunny, warm day in spring, with the birds singing and the trees blooming, life doesn't only start the semester again, but only sends some surprises.
Going to university is always easier in summer, when the weather is nice, waiting for busses and trains doesn't freeze you, and you can have icecream in breaks. The semester promises to be quite a lot of work, with all these teaching methodology classes I'm taking, but so far with nifty professors.
I talked to a very old friend of mine again online yesterday, after quite some years. I know her since primaryschool, but we lost contact a little when she moved to Berlin quite sometime ago. It's fun talking to her again, and we're thinking about meeting in Berlin in May, when all the holiday-days are approaching. That'll be lovely!
Today after university, I met with a guy I know back from Kendo when I did it here. We didn't see each other since then (and decided that we all got so terribly old, anyway) and got in touch again when I contacted im about Kendo last week, asking whether he'd like to start again, too. We spent all afternoon in the park, picknicking - he brough a japan-style picknick, all selfmade, and we even had a blooming tree in sight. Lots of fun talking about old times, laughing about old oddnesses, and thinking about kendo.
Finally this evening, someone who declared himself my enemy contacted me, saying he was sorry, and he'd like a new start. I have no idea what caused that chance of mind in him, and while I don't particulary trust the peace just yet. it's quite a nice thing.

Was a good day.

I'm totally dead. Muscles soring I forgot I own, a bloodblister unter my big toe from the foodwork, my whole body aching... but I can't remember the last time I felt so satisfied.
The training was awesome. After the first 10 minutes, during which I needed to sort out my foodwork and hitting, suddenly most of it was back. And nobody looked oddly when I asked about certain things or confused some combinations. Everybody very nice and helpful there, and many doing Kendo for not so long yet, anyway. Lots of fun, though exhausting. 200 Haya suburi at the end, after 90 of which I had to pause for 30. But one day I'll manage all 200.

It's good to finally do Kendo again.

Narf. One week to go to finish my paper in history. I barely managed to get up early today to have time to write - because of course, this week is filled up with other things to do, while the other two months of the holidays were free and I only finished 8 pages - and now wrote a quarter page and find myself drifting to other things. Like livejournal.

The last week was awesome. I had a friend over from Dresden, and we had lots of fun. Spent saturday on a RPG-Con in Cologne, where our UO shard presented itself and helped giving out flyers and inviting the people to play. We already got quite some new accounts!
But more important, for me, is the fact that I was dragged to Kendo at University last tuesday. It's four years ago I stopped doing Kendo, I think, and I always missed it, but never felt there was a chance to start again, even when I knew there was a group at uni. Maybe I just didn't dare going there alone the first time. But now that I saw the training my fingers itched, and here I go.
Fetched my old hakama, keikogi and shinai and had to realise one thing: Folding your hakama correctly isn't to annoy you. Dear self four years back, whatever came to your mind putting the hakama randomly in the backside of your dresser? - I think I spent about three (!) hours ironing and folding it correctly again, and it's still not perfect, and leaves me rather frustrated.
But finally, Kendo again. I'm sure I'll know nothing anymore, but I'm totally looking forward to it again!

Nifty Kendovideo, which I found while looking at kendovideos instead of writing on my paper...

Now it's truly spring. I finished my reading for my paper yesterday in the garden, in the sun, for the first time in the year, sharing a blanket with out dog who happily snored in the rythm of the bird's singing. I even finally planted my sunflower-seeds which I (*ahem*) bought in a children's-seedling-set, because the idea was just so cute. I secretly hid three seeds in random patches in the garden, let's see whether they'll develope!
So now I'm all done with reading and will have to start the writing. Writing papers always comes so difficult for me. I can write my stories, 4000 words a day if I'm in the mood, but each time upon writing a paper, I'll get stuck every hundred or so words. The analyzing papers were still okay, but the scientific ones, no matter how much or not I enjoy the topic, are a pain. Doesn't anyone have so helpful solutions to similar problems?

Last week, Philip and I started going with the dogs together again, as we did all of last summer. It's always fun, talking about university, people from school (we know each other since grade 5, though in theory we already were in the same kindergarten) , games, random stuff. There's usually a lot to laugh, and the dogs get along well, too.
Finally the winter is over!

+ These days I wonder, am I more easily irritated, or are certain people odd? Possibly both. So many people around constantly complaining how much everything sucks, but they don't even try improving things themselves, and just expect others to do it for them. And when things don't suck, then certainly something else does. And when you try to cheer them up by pointing out spring has come, they will mention their allergies.
d'oh!

+ I feel terribly lazy and idle. I could've probably finished my second termpaper by now, but instead am still in the stage of reading, and it doesn't really improve. I lack a concept, too, though at least I got a topic by now. The Perception of death in personal writings of people in the time of the 30 years war. Quite interesting actually - I got the diary of a mecernary who was in service until Peace of Westfalia, the writings of a chancellor from Munster mourning who thought his "impudent" renovating of his house caused the death of his wife and two sons, and the calender of Tönies of Padberg, a Lord who must've been a funny fellow to be around.
The texts are really nice to read (though not always easy, depending on their language), but I hope I'll be able to write a decent paper from it. No idea how to gather those 12-15 pages.

Now, while I typed this post, I could've read two mpre pages, I bet.

Yesterday was such a beautiful day. Blue skies and the sun shining, and although the air wasn't warmer than average, I had my windows open, since the sun made up for the temperature. The birds singing, the flowers growing... spring. Plans to take a long walk with the dog today.
- I woke up already to the constant drumming of rain against my window. Skies of dark grey, rain wherever you look. And it's cold.
Where's spring gone to?

+ Crashing one car isn't enough for me. I need to crash two.

Admittedly, I didn't crash a car. Neither one nor two. Last Friday I hit and scrached one decently though, and in the process of course happily destroyed our right door.
The street I live in is like to lower part of a "T". In the Upper street, these days they all park their cars like there's no one else on the road. Both sides, close and closer, so the street gets really tight. Now I wanted to turn into our part of the street, through all the cars, and realised too late that a minitruck just wanted to turn into the streetdirection I was coming from. I went further to the right because it got so close... and bam.
And there I was, in the middle of the street, our car so tightly to theirs that any further moving would've damaged the cars more, and me having no idea whom the cursed car belonged to. I ended up ringing all bells of the next house, and actually did find the owners of the cars. Needless to say they weren't exactly happy. Took photos, exchanged adresses, called insurances...
The only funny thing about itis that the minute there I heard the cars scrach each other, my old driving-teacher's voice echoed in my head, just the way he used to talk: "And in case you hit some old granny's parked car while she is somewhere else..."
My mother was far calmer about it than me. 300 Euro we'll have to pay ourselves, the rest will be paid by insurance. That's 900 their car, and something between 2000 and 3000 ours. Ouch. x_x

+ Else, things are fine. During holidays, I'm at the stable three days a week, helping out with the horses and getting free lessons in turn, which is a nifty deal. But I realise I'm somewhat lazy the other days. Sleeping in, playing Anno 1701 in the afternoons after having walked the dog, playing UO in the evenings. I really should get to the library and fetch the books for the other paper in history, or else I'll realise one day the deadline has come. Such lazy vacations.